How do I know whether my mother loves me?

Do you feel loved by your mother? Are there times when you doubt if your mother really loves you? 

Hello friends this is JD Herbolario and welcome to Daily Dose of Nosred John,
A sharing for inspiration for life and living.

Well, generally, Most mothers do love their children but there are exceptions. Some mothers are so damaged inside to the point that it became hard for them to express their love evidently. Most people would say that since she is your mother, she must have loved you, I mean, she really does, because she is your mother. But that's not always the case from the perspective of children... Ask yourself these questions: Did you feel safe with her? Did you feel nurtured and loved by her? did you feel that you are being respected and supported? Did you feel appreciated? did your mother hug or kisses you? did she give you gifts? did she say kind words to you? did she spend quality time with you? 

All of these questions must be reflected upon because basically, you would not ask if your mother loves you if you are experiencing these. 

Now, let us go to the point. a very least number of mothers would say that they do not love their children due to many extraordinary reasons. But, more than 90 percent of mothers are indeed very loving and caring to their offspring. There is surely no doubt about it. 

Now let me use a metaphor: 

When you are studying, your teacher asks you to create a house made up of sticks and glue. You did it and the next day, you submitted it. It was not very presentable yet you still submitted it. You may not be very proud, but you still present it in the class. Then what would you feel if your teacher rejects it? You will feel sad isn't? 

Why did you feel sad? because it was your creation, it was not perfect but you put time creating it. 

What more for our mothers, we are their creations. we may not be very perfect in their eyes, but if something bad happens to us, even without telling us, they will feel hurt. That's love already. 

Now the issue is, why do I not feel that my mother really loves me? Let me tell you two reasons:

1. They are victims of wrong conditioning 

Yes, our mothers are not perfect, they are also a product of their past. They also have emotional defilements and habits. They may have many fears and insecurities that were not processed yet which makes the expression of love difficult. It is not that they do not love you, but the thing is they are calloused with their past, and even worry about the future. it is like this; have you seen a light bulb full of dust, it hardly lights right? the same with our mothers, their love cannot be expressed due to hard layers of pain and miseries that they are experiencing. 

2. They do not know how to express love

It has a connection with number 1, again our parents are also a product of habits. They may not know how to express love the way that you can feel. Well, most mothers would express through physical touch and that is sometimes what a child is longing for a mother. but that is not always the case for our mother's love expression, some mothers would express it through service or gift-giving. Some mothers at the very least just do not know how to express love in any way. 

Now the question is, if you are not feeling the love of your mother. Does it mean that she does not love you? 

Both yes and no. Yes, she doesn't love you when you do not feel it. And also No, she loves you even if you do not feel it. You know the secret. It is your understanding. You cannot get love if you give hate to your mother. or when you doubt the capacity of your mother to love you. The knowledge that you are thinking if she loves you makes you realize that your mother has difficulty expressing love. Then, try to patiently express the kind of love that you want to get from her. If you want to be hugged, hug her. If you want to be appreciated, appreciate her, if you want quality time, spend time with her. It may not be easy. Remember, they are also products of their past and it is not easy to heal a damaged heart. 

"You cannot get love if you give hate to your mother. or when you doubt the capacity of your mother to love you."

Whether your mother loves you or not. Always think that she, at least, give you time in her womb for many months. You are her creation. Like a light bulb full of dust, your love for your mother would fade off the dust and let her light finally shine. 

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